Living in Colorado for 10 months

it’s quiet in the house this morning, and early. i can hear the birds outside while i type away. asher breaths deeply as he sleeps beneath my desk. i close my eyes and listen to the wind rustle the trees…it’s been awhile since i have heard that…the vegetation didn’t come out until mid may this year due to a long but mild winter. that is when i realize how much i love this place. colorado has been my home for 10 months.

10 months of hiking, exploring, getting used to elevation. mr and i growing as a couple. making friends and 10 months not living in texas for the 1st time in my live. 10 months since my baby sister got married, and we left waco. 10 months since i saw our favorite group of ubcer’s.

and in that 10 months we have had 2 friends give birth another pregnant, another engaged and about to be married. family has come to visit and jobs have changed. political elections were held and now it’s legal to smoke pot here in my adoptive state. and too many innocents have died in the last 10 months; Sandy Hook and the Boston Marathon, horror in the likes of tornados, wildfires and hurricanes…tragedy amist tragedy.

i can only speculate what will happen in the next 2 months…hopefully it will include job interviews and house hunting…my anxious heart far far away and a packed car to our new destination. it will include anniversaries and birthdays, summer sun, tank tops and bare feet. maybe silence among the thing packed and to give away, a silence to remember what it was like the last time i did this just a year ago. maybe tears will be shed with friends as we say ‘good bye’ and maybe we will go on one last hike.

maybe my family won’t see me as running away but living life out loud. maybe snow and altitude isn’t such a bad thing.  hopefully we will continue to love, continue to grow and learn. maybe we will finally get around to adopting another pup.

hopefully we will be successful {not in terms of money} in life.

i feel the pressure of society and life upon me. draining me of all i am. telling me life is about our legacy, our family and our wealth. i want to push back but i don’t. i let the weight sit upon me as i ponder their meaning. if only they knew…if only they knew that i don’t want to conform. i don’t want to be like everybody else. {society tells me this is fine but they themselves don’t believe it} i don’t want my life, my home or my family to be traditional. i want to stand apart and be proud of my legacy in ways that few view.

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