Travis and I like to joke that our marriage is a direct result of me praying for patience in college. I am constantly learning new ways to practice patience with him, as he loves to push all the buttons. I’m learning patience when things don’t happen on my timeline, when I want them to happen, or when crazy California drivers run red lights or wait until the last possible moment to get into the right lane.
But reflecting on the last 9 years of marriage, I realized it’s not patience I have learned. It’s grace. Yes, patience is a part of that but the ability to be vulnerable and completely aware of another needs and how my response will come across is more of a lesson in giving grace to my husband and to myself.
If anything the act of praying for patience has merely given me a better lens in which to see life. To see opportunities to be more patience and graceful to my husband when I’ve had a bad day, to people making dumb irrational generalizations on Facebook, and most importantly to myself.
I’m realizing how much grace and patience I need to give myself on a daily basis. I see my clients feedback, every. single. word. The empathic side of me is easily overwhelmed with hurt and sadness when I can’t make people happy, and yet I’m filled with joy when people are thrilled with the service and quality they have received. I need grace when I feel unsuccessful, I’m encouraged when I realize some of the worlds most successful people were defiantly not successful by any measure at this same stage in their life. It’s hard to gauge success as a creative, you want the ability to do unique things, different from everything around you and at the same time are expected to adult enough to support yourself.
Travis shows me unmeasurable patience and grace daily, his job is demanding and work pressures on top of that make it even more stressful. Far more stressful than a typical 9-5 and much more stressful than my work from home part time 9-11 and 1-4. For this, this grace, this patience that my husband shows me is overwhelming and I am beyond grateful for. While I do claim introvert, I do love to be around other people and this is hard when he maybe the only person I see all day.
So, what have I learned in 9 years of marriage? I’m not at my final destination, there is so much ahead of me, ahead of us. I don’t know what is up ahead but I’m willing to bet it will test us, and we will continue to learn and give grace and love to one another. It’s not easy being married, but it’s also one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. And I bet Travis would say the same.