So, last week I talked about the enneagram and how I’m a Four. It took me a long time to accept my fourness, I didn’t like or want to accept certain tendencies that I have. And within the enneagram, every number can easily be stereotyped and Fours are the moody artist type.
My Four Tendencies
Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. (from Enneagram Institute)
As a Four, I find myself very reserved when meeting people. I want to know as much about them as I can before opening up about myself. This is why I tend to come across as shy when I meet new people, I’m not entirely an introvert. I love to be around other people! Another, Fourness I have is that when I catch myself making a mistake I’m very critical of myself to the point where I tell myself, I should quit simply because I made a mistake. I always feel a range of emotion not just one feeling but a teetering from one to another. I often wonder if there is something wrong with me, because I just don’t feel like I fit in. The feeling of being the new kid in school, all the time. And when that feeling finally goes away, I do my best to be overly welcoming to everyone because I don’t want them to feel that way. I’m a fashion blogger, I’m already self-conscious. But when you’re writing, and sharing pictures of yourself on the interest there is a whole different level of self-consciousness.
Other Types I relate too – in the enneagram there are all these triads of numbers who relate to each other in unique ways. One, Four, and Sevens are often called the Idealists as they each hold a vision of the way the world could be in order for life & spirit to thrive. The idea that these 3 numbers all are connected because they hold a vision of the way the world could be in their minds, is what reiterates to me my connectedness to the One and Seven.
One-ness, I crave order and to do things my way, while being principled and improvement oriented. I like to be communicated with as a One, with clear expectations for myself and others. I love order and organization.
Seven-ness, I love adventure and am an overall positive person. While a Four is often reduced to their moodiness and emotions, I tend towards more happy and positive. Yes, I can feel depressed and when I do I can’t hide it so I acknowledge those feelings. I also enjoy spontaneity of having fun with friends also, like a Seven, I despise conflict. In fact, I’d rather go to the dentist than confront someone.
One of my Instagram friends asked how I enjoy getting creative and honestly, I love creating everyday. From designing our living spaces, to rearranging my pantry or bookshelves, creating cute outfits, writing, sketching, or creating digital pieces for social media. I also get overwhelmed easily and feel not good enough at everything I do, from writing to gardening or my sketching.